Random

The following bit of random and this blog were brought to you by:  

Derpes 

(The only known STD  for your mind!)

Why didn't the skeleton go to the prom?

     He had no BODY to go with XDXDXDXD

*bows to the sounds of groans and booing*

Thank you I'll be here all week! Have a good night, be sure to tip your waiter and or waitress goddess knows they've earned it!

Head Colds

Of all the types of colds that exist, head colds are the worst. Your throat gets sore,  your nose either feels like its stuffed with half melted marshmallows or runs like a snot faucet turned on full blast, your body aches, and then there's your head.

Personally my mind turns fuzzy and my eyes lose focus a bit, which not only makes it hard to think, but messes with my brain making me see things. I also have even less control over what comes out of my mouth, as shown by this example from last night:

Me: *looking at tiny ice cream container I had been licking out of instead of using a spoon* Man my tongue hurts already? I'm gonna be shit at oral sex. *laughs*

Friend and roommate: O.o What the hell?

So yea. head colds are a plague on us all and need to die.

...and so does my cold - induced illusion of a zombie bunny in full Rambo gear.

Bacon

Ever lost a thought? Had an idea that was just on the tip of your tongue?

Well worry about that no longer! I have the answer:

BACON

Any time you find yourself missing a thought, just simply imagine yourself  holding a fishing line with bacon as the bait. Don`t forget to call out "Here thought! Come and get your bacon!"

Yes it even works for vegetarians and vegans! 

This has been a Public Service Announcement from Planet Meat,  Bringing a whole new meaning to meet and greet.